NATIONAL BESTSELLER
“I feel like I’ve been waiting for this book for my entire adult life.” — Anne Helen Petersen
“It's become my new Bible” — Trevor Noah
“I loved [The Other Significant Others] and recommend it to everybody.” — Ezra Klein
The Other Significant Others tells the stories of people who make a friendship the central relationship in their lives—owning homes together, raising kids together, or caring for each other for decades. Like romantic couples, these friends form a “we.” At a time of declining marriage rates and a loneliness epidemic, these friends help us imagine alternative models for a fulfilling life and ask us to rethink which relationships matter most.
You can get The Other Significant Others from your favorite bookseller now and find a discussion group guide here.
About the book
The Other Significant Others invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—from friends raising a child together to best friends of 50 years who live together in their retiree years. Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A groundbreaking book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.
Praise for The Other Significant Others
“The Other Significant Others is energetic, open, considered, and beautifully reported. It thrums with a passion for the subject, and is powered by a historically rich, intellectually serious curiosity about the relationships that provide backbone and ballast to so many of our lives, but which have only recently begun to receive the consideration they are due.”
— Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author of Good and Mad and All The Single Ladies
“An absorbing overhaul of everything you thought you knew about friendship. The Other Significant Others is a platonic revelation and a revolution.”
— Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic
"[An] illuminating debut . . . a smart and heartfelt testament to the power of social bonds outside ‘compulsory coupledom.’”
— Publishers Weekly
“Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter. A perceptive and vivid reporter, she reveals that there are far more pathways to deep connection and fulfillment than we’ve been made to believe. The Other Significant Others is an arresting work of compassion and insight.”
— Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
“[W]ritten with empathy, curiosity and a clear knack for storytelling…The Other Significant Others offers readers an insightful and intimate look at what life could be like if we broaden our horizons beyond ‘compulsory coupledom’ and welcome the idea that ‘romantic relationships are not the only unions that can shape our lives.’”
—BookPage (starred review)
"We have seen society can broaden its definition of love, and The Other Significant Others shows we can go further still. Through unforgettable stories, Rhaina Cohen makes a crucial case for expanding the range of committed relationships we recognize. A captivating call to embrace love in all its profound forms."
—Jim Obergefell, lead plaintiff in Obergefell v. Hodges and co-author of Love Wins
"I feel like I've been waiting for this book for my entire adult life. The Other Significant Others is a radical and deeply persuasive argument for prioritizing the best friendships that ground us, that complete us, that make us feel loved and allow us to love others so deeply in return."
—Anne Helen Petersen, author of Can't Even
Photo by Cassidy DuHon